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Thread: How To Deal With BULLIES

  1. #1
    Super Moderator Aimster73's Avatar
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    Default How To Deal With BULLIES

    In recent weeks, I've received an increased amount of players who have come to me with terrible stories about Growtopian bullies who simply won't leave them alone. I have seen several threads that deal with bullying, but I thought I would give some info from my perspective that might help someone who has overlooked a thread in the past (don't forget about that search bar above when you want to refer to questions that you have about anything!):

    Bullying in Growtopia is defined as a player who continually messages you in a threatening manner, or comes into your world and says inappropriate things (use your judgment here, this IS your world!), or is generally rude to you to the point that you feel threatened. Bullying does not mean that a player constantly punches you, he's just pestering! Bullying is more serious, and is generally defined by someone who constantly pushes you to the point of feeling threatened. Bullying is a SERIOUS offense in Growtopia, and will not be tolerated. But there are steps that YOU as a player can take, to ensure YOU ARE NOT A VICTIM.

    1) Turn ON your Swear Filter. As a Moderator, I see and hear a lot of swearing. If I didn't have mine on in-game, I would get frustrated quickly, and I wouldn't play as often, since I can be sensitive at times to swearing. If you are being bullied, and the bully is swearing at you, then turn your filter on so that you can continue on as usual. Toggling the swear filter on/off is located in your "Options" menu.

    2) Don't forget about /ignore! Whenever you're being bullied via private messages, simply "/ignore" him. They can no longer send you messages, and you're free to play on without hearing their unnecessary chatter. For those new players who may not know, you type "/ignore" (without quotes) into your chat bar, and then type space and the name of the player, and a message will tell you you're now ignoring a player. It prevents you from seeing chat messages and receiving private messages from the player specified. This feature will expire when you log out, so when you log in again, simply repeat this step if you want to. If your bully creates a new account, and continues, hit /ignore again on his NEW account! Stay one step ahead of the bully!

    3) When a bully is in your world, simply WORLD BAN him! If you're in another world with that bully, simply leave. YOU have that power, because Growtopia has given you the ability to remove ANYONE for ANY REASON out of your world, and if they continue outside of your worlds, just leave that world. The best policy when dealing with bullies is to simply ignore them, and steer clear of them! Bullies feed on your replies, so they have another chance to verbally bash you. Don't give them that freedom! Simply steer clear of haters, 'cause HATERS GONNA HATE. You can't change THEM, but you CAN change how you react to them.

    4) If you are continuously hounded, even AFTER doing ALL of the steps above, you can contact support@growtopiagame.com. Explain to them what is occurring, and also the time/date that it occurred (this information is important!), and the actions you have taken as a player to steer clear of that bully. The Support team can go through the chat logs and see what was said, and take appropriate action and punishment from there. AGAIN, I want to stress this: This should ONLY be done when you've tried all the other options above, and your bully keeps bothering you. Remember: it is NOT up to you what punishment is taken, but that of the Support Team. They know all, they see all, and they are the final step when all other efforts YOU have tried as a player fail.

    5) Finally, if you are being bullied OUTSIDE of Growtopia, please seek advice from a grownup such as an older sibling, a parent, a pastor, a teacher/guidance counselor or someone you trust. You need to remember that bullies feed off of your fear, so don't give them the satisfaction. Make your friends and your family AWARE of what is happening in your life. You don't have to be a victim! If you tell a teacher about a bully at school, that teacher will then be aware of what is going on, and will help you should you need it. Imagine if everyone in your life knew to help you watch out for that bully! You have the power to make others aware in your life. Be safe. And don't give in to bullies. For more information about how to combat bullying, visit this site.

    You do not have to be bullied. But you CAN stand up for yourself and take action to make sure you're not a victim. And Growtopia has several safety features to help you stay ahead of potty-mouthed meanies who don't seem to give up. Be SMART, and take action! You can do this! I know that I've not mentioned Moderators as much when it comes to bullying, because I believe that a lot of power has been given to players of Growtopia, when dealing with bullies. YOU have the power to shut them down. Bullies can only succeed WHEN YOU LET THEM.

    For a GREAT list of chat commands (such as /ignore) that you may not know, please visit this wiki page. I've found it to be a great resource for commands I forget to use sometimes. KNOWLEDGE is power, so equip yourself against bullies. Take your power back, and enjoy your experience in Growtopia.
    Last edited by Aimster73; 12-11-2013 at 05:21 PM.
    How to Deal with Bullies: Take Action by clicking HERE

  2. #2
    Master Sorcerer DeBest's Avatar
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    Indeed, great thread.

    A little to add on the /ignore part. Found and issue that's becoming slightly common.

    If there is a guy spamming/cursing and you like to ignore him, but it won't let you because there is another account with an almost identical GrowID.

    Ex) The spammer's GrowID is Ninja, but there are ton of other people with "ninja" beginning their name. Simple solution.

    /ignore /ninja

    When you do it, it will ignore the user with the ID "ninja".

    EDIT:

    Oh, another thing.

    /msg works the same way. If "DeBest" is on and "DeBest12" is also on. To send a message to me only, do

    /msg /DeBest

    Quote Originally Posted by HunterHell View Post
    Hehe, I actually didn't know that...
    Quite interesting.


    But, there is one problem with the /ignore...

    If a player you /ignore goes on a guest account, he can keep messaging you.
    If you /ignore him again, he can change the guest account again.
    Maybe have /ignore track down to the device??? Kind of like a ban.
    Last edited by DeBest; 12-11-2013 at 05:09 PM.

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  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by DeBest View Post
    Indeed, great thread.

    A little to add on the /ignore part. Found and issue that's becoming slightly common.

    If there is a guy spamming/cursing and you like to ignore him, but it won't let you because there is another account with an almost identical GrowID.

    Ex) The spammer's GrowID is Ninja, but there are ton of other people with "ninja" beginning their name. Simple solution.

    /ignore /ninja

    When you do it, it will ignore the user with the ID "ninja".

    Not many players know this so it should be stressed a bit more. I believe it is said when /ignore is typed alone. If not, it should be added.
    Hehe, I actually didn't know that...
    Quite interesting.


    But, there is one problem with the /ignore...

    If a player you /ignore goes on a guest account, he can keep messaging you.
    If you /ignore him again, he can change the guest account again.

  4. #4
    Master Sorcerer BenBarrage's Avatar
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    #4 FTW. Thanks for your excellent advice Aimster!


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  5. #5
    Super Moderator Aimster73's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by HunterHell View Post
    Hehe, I actually didn't know that...
    Quite interesting.


    But, there is one problem with the /ignore...

    If a player you /ignore goes on a guest account, he can keep messaging you.
    If you /ignore him again, he can change the guest account again.
    True, and I'm not saying that wouldn't happen, but it will cut down the chatter, and eventually, he'll give up. You have to take ACTION to combat a bully. And each action you take (using the /ignore command over and over if you have to!) will get old for him having to constantly change out accounts. You can also log off for 30 minutes or so, and give your bully the message "user isn't online" and he'll also give up that way. Remember, each action you take as a player limits his/her abilities to bully you. TAKE ACTION!
    How to Deal with Bullies: Take Action by clicking HERE

  6. #6
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    Something I was taught is the bully only wins if you let them. Stand up for yourself.
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  7. #7
    Master Sorcerer Jack Bowe's Avatar
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    Thank you Aimster, THANK YOU!

    I have had a concern about bullying for A LONG TIME!
    I have tried to raise awareness via the Forums, so I have a plan for it in game.
    I am going to make a World to the best of my ability and hopefully people will raise awareness of the different types and forms of bullying.

    Thanks again, Aimster. This was my thread.

    I hope one day bullying will be down to a minimum and our community will be a much safer place! :]

    Aimster, you are a truly fantastic Moderator, everywhere you are happiness follows, keep doing what you are doing, as you are making a difference!


    The problem with most of us is that we would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism.

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    Master Sorcerer AntoDecay's Avatar
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    Thanks For this @Aimster I'll msg you If I see any!

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    Nice work @Aimster! We really need someone who can promote bullying awarness. This will surely make growtopia better in the future.

  10. #10
    Master Sorcerer darksnake99's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AntoDecay View Post
    Thanks For this @Aimster I'll msg you If I see any!
    Did you read the ENTIRE thread? She didn't say to message her or any other mod...

    Joined Growtopia July 16, 2013.
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  11. #11
    Master Sorcerer Tohru's Avatar
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    There's also another option. If the player is bothering you from an alternative account, log on as a guest or your alternative. The bully will not know who you are.

    I do this many times when a specific player is annoying me, so I think it will be helpful as well! For the player, I do not need to take action because the player is simply messaging me in a hurtful way.


    Aimster, you have raised an important point. Bullying counts as name-calling, teasing, and making fun of somebody. I stand up for the newbies that are neglected, called "noobs". I know how it feels.

    When it comes to name-calling, I ask the bully, "Does bullying help?" and "How would you feel if someone is doing the same to you?" When this does not stop the person or causes swearing, I usually comfort the person who is being bullied. And that's a good thing.

    As to JackBowe, may I be a part of your wonderful project? I wanted to start mine but something interfered.


    At school last year, I learned that bullies sometimes can be affected by their personal life. When they are this way, you should say something encouraging.

    As for another, there's a quote:
    "If you have something to say that is offensive, then DON'T say it."
    This quote can lead to the better future and lessen the amount of bullies. I know this kind of behavior will never stop, so it is up to us players/forumers to help those in need.

  12. #12
    Master Sorcerer Tohru's Avatar
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    Bumping because this is an important thread! It raises a major problem that happens everywhere.

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    Master Sorcerer Potato's Avatar
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    Default troll

    Whenever someone bullies me in growtopia what i like to do is troll them :3 I would msg them in a different account into my world telling him that their is a wl giveaway or something and when they come i would ban and ignore them
    IGN:Potatosauce


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    Master Sorcerer Tohru's Avatar
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    Potato, then they might call you a scammer. This also makes the person believe you are a scammer or something, and you do not want that.

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    Master Sorcerer Potato's Avatar
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    Default well...

    Quote Originally Posted by Tohru View Post
    Potato, then they might call you a scammer. This also makes the person believe you are a scammer or something, and you do not want that.
    True but......many people told me that its funny and they don't think its scamming, plus ive seen many people do trolls like this in broadcasts....
    IGN:Potatosauce


  16. #16
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    Thank you for this guide Aimster, it brings much insight into this issue.

    Reffering to your points:

    Your definition:
    Perhaps including 'ganging up' on a user will add more "specific" detail.

    2) There are other ways for this:
    - Not responding the user at all and skipping their insults.
    - Muting your device so the pm noises don't overwhelm you.
    - Pulling up your chat box up and just talking to people via speech bubbles if necessary.

    My personal belief is that /ignore should only be the last resort if it overwhelms you too much. By doing /ignore, the bully will be aware you have read their insults perhaps have pleasure in it and take it to the next step.

    I completely agree with switching accounts - people are too much in panic to log off, or change accounts in fear the bully will attack them currently. Learning meditation is a great way to deal with bullying, because it makes you calm to think properly. You can't think properly if you panic.

    ____________________

    The best way to deal with bullying, is to learn how to deal with yourself. Think in other perspectives and be willing to listen, and accept other's advice, no matter how hurtful it can be. I know it can be frustrating to achieve what you want, but if you do your best without making excuses, you can do it. This is my advice (mostly relevance in real). If you can deal with bullying in Growtopia, you can deal with better it in real.

    1) See a counselor. In high schools, there's usually one. In your country, there may be help-lines and such, phone them. Usually, they're free.

    2) Stop complaining about bullying and deal with it. Complaining is to "release steam" about it, but refusing to listen to other's advice upon it and just keep bickering about it without feeling much better. Example:
    But he bullies me, it's not right...but what can I do? How can I do it? It's not my fault! But....(rants on)

    Venting is fine though, venting is to "release steam" about it and it usually makes you feel better. Venting usually allows you to listen to other's advice as well. Example:
    Going to play a sport to release your anger.
    Writing it all down, reading it, understanding it and throwing it away.
    Kicking a wall (hopefully, not your family's newly painted wall).
    Talking to someone and listening to their advice.

    3) Accept the facts.
    - You can't change bullies, they won't change to make you happier.
    - Only you control your emotions, and make yourself feel down. Learn to control them.
    - A bully is one who will do anything to upset you, so don't argue with them so they'll agree with you.
    - Why listen about the opinions of someone who hates you, when you should be listening to the one who cares for you?

    In primary schools, in my country, they deal with it differently, just telling off the bully and comforting the kid. That doesn't teach the kid in the future how to deal with bullying, because in the future, kids will be told that "they can't change a bully's behavior and beliefs" but they will have to change themselves to deal with the bully, and that's extremely difficult.

    @ Tin

    Each bully varies. Each bully has a definition to beat them. So by "standing up to bullies", it's not just going up to their face and going like:
    "I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU" (it works for some bullies, but not all).

    When you have that thought in your mind, you believe upon you saying that, the bully or bystanders will sympathize you and see in your view. This is not true. Do not let your emotions control you, or you will do something you will regret.

    Here's some things I've learnt (I have faced emotional bullying, never physical, so my view is only specific on that area):

    1. Bullies will tempt you to respond by trying to insult you if you ignore them or mistreat them. If you don't respond - they win. If you respond - they also win. So how do you win? NOT. RESPONDING. AT. ALL. By ignoring them for long periods of time, they will give up. If you ignore them occasionally, they will know they have your attention and will continue to crave your emotional reactions.

    Way to win = Do not give them attention, even if you try to guilt you.

    2. Bullies will feed off your pain, on your face. Changing your attitude will allow you to change your view on them. Some bullies (like mine) target me because of my facial expression. Looking super happy and cheerful when you talk to them, and treating them like ordinary people stumps them. But don't over-do it and think that they're normal people and it is a normal conversation. Be wary, and think smart.

    Way to win = Do not show pain and change yourself so you will not feel it - for real.

    3. Bullies sometimes tries to get gangs of people to target you. Surrounding yourself with friends will discourage them, but if it doesn't, at least your friends could be supportive of you.

    Way to win = Surround yourself with friends

    4. Do not argue their beliefs. If they think that you have bullied them in the past (but you never did), let them believe that. Arguing against that shows that you care, but why care about a person who hurts you and will do anything to hurt you? It is tempting to do so but just shrug or say "okay". Don't satisfy their greed for seeing you lose - any arguments you have against them will make you lose, no matter what you see or others see, bullies will always see themselves as winners.

    Way to win = Let them live in their fantasies.

    @Potato
    What you are doing is scamming, not matter how someone else "deserves" it. "To troll" is simply a excuse to do that act. But hey, if that works for you if someone bullies you - do it! The only person it actually bothers is the bully and if people are gullible enough to believe the bully...I wouldn't care about them. I recommend other methods of getting reactions from them, but don't go too far and become a bully yourself.

    @Tohru

    I agree with your advice. Going on a alternative account is good idea, but even better, not going on for an hour or so and doing some activities in real life (sport?). This will calm you down and allow you to think how to deal with the bully, rather then relying on your emotions to do it.

    Your point:
    Bullying counts as name-calling, teasing, and making fun of somebody. I stand up for the newbies that are neglected, called "noobs". I know how it feels.

    I'm just going to specify this before someone reads your point and doesn't think of any exceptions (which usually, quite a few people do)

    Bullying is when those actions are done and make you feel threatened or pained in any way (repeated from Aimster). Harmless teasing, name calling, and making fun of someone as a joke is alright, as long as it's between friends and not continued when someone starts feeling uncomfortable and speaks up. Being called a "noob" is not bullying (some people instantly assume that being called a "noob" is bullying, it's not unless it's over-done.) unless it's over-done.
    Some people over-react when being called a noob. They get angry because someone else doesn't acknowledge them "higher" then "noob". Can you give me a situation where a newbie may be bullied? I'm not going to list the situations and let you choose which one is yours, there's countless.

    Noob is the weakest insult. If you can't handle that...you seriously need toughening up.

    Great to hear you stand up for bullied victims

    At school last year, I learned that bullies sometimes can be affected by their personal life. When they are this way, you should say something encouraging.

    A quote that popped in my mind:

    Hurt people hurt.

    It's impossible for a happy person to deliberately hurt others, as they have no reason to.

    For this quote you said:
    "If you have something to say that is offensive, then DON'T say it."

    Sadly, this quote has been used in wrong situations. Similar quotes like this appear in the forums when someone gives honest, valid but harsh criticism or their opinion which was not intended to insult. These users (whom are mature) get bashed for hurting someone else's pride. The quote should be rephrased to:

    "If you have something to say to intend to hurt someone, then DON'T say it"

  17. #17
    Master Sorcerer Tohru's Avatar
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    My guidance counselor said that name-calling and teasing counts as bullying.

    I understand your meaning, and I simply have to agree. My teacher had said it last year, and I don't clearly remember what she said.

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tohru View Post
    My guidance counselor said that name-calling and teasing counts as bullying.

    I understand your meaning, and I simply have to agree. My teacher had said it last year, and I don't clearly remember what she said.
    If used inappropriately and directed to someone you're not friends with - yes. I never disagreed with you, I only stated that there was also a harmless version because when you referred to name-calling and teasing, you didn't refer to a specific situation. Now, I think about it, name-calling is usually used by bullies and I may have messed up my point in that one, my apoligises.

    I'm confused which part you're stating about my 'meaning'...would be nice if you can quote my words? Thanks.

    Please also respond to the newbie bullying question, I'm interested to see how exactly newbies get bullied (as I've never witnessed it myself).

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    Also, if you have problems in real life. Keep them in real life. Your friends and family will know you and the situation a lot better! Also do not msg a Moderator or the support team that your being bullied!
    Do not judge me. Until you know me. Do not underestimate me. If you have never challenged me. AND. Do not talk about me. If you never talked to me.
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  20. #20
    Super Moderator Aimster73's Avatar
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    I'm very proud of each of you who have spoken up about your own experiences about bullying. I think it helps other players who have a tough time dealing with it for the first time, to understand that it happens to all of us.

    Most of us have bully stories where we've been bullied or intimidated by another player/friend/classmate. I think the important thing here is to remember that IT HAPPENS TO ALL OF US. The key here is to remember there IS something YOU can do to be rid of bullies, especially in Growtopia. A lot of time and care has been given by the Developers of this game to ensure that YOU DON'T HAVE TO LISTEN TO ANY OF IT. Become educated on how you as a player can STOP that kind of chatter from ruining your experience in-game.

    I only wish there was a "/ignore" feature in real life. Imagine if you could mute people you didn't want to hear.... Ahh, I digress...
    How to Deal with Bullies: Take Action by clicking HERE

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