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View Full Version : How to be a Human [GUIDE]



Updated
11-09-2015, 09:49 AM
v1.3MAKE SURE TO READ THE DESCRIPTION OF THE LEVEL FIRST!


Baby Level

This is it, rookie. The first stage of humanity. In this level, humans are 0-3 years old.
Things to do:


If you are coming out of something and there's blood, you're probably coming out from the mother's stomach. Cry a lot if you're experiencing this.
Once you go out of that crazy thing, keep on crying until a certain time. Probably when a human wearing white clothes wipes something off you.
You're going to be placed somewhere. Probably a box, the humans call it an "incubator".
When you're in the incubator, it is now your decision whether you'll cry or not. Keep in mind that while you're on this level, your frequency of crying should be high.
Days later, you'll be in a place and that place is a bit noisy and small. Humans call it a car.
Once you get out of the car, you'll probably in a house. While you're in there and you cry, the mother/father might think that you need a white liquid called milk. Be prepared for that.
Okay rookie! Good luck with being a human baby!



Child Level

During the early stages of child level, you're still a bit same with the baby one. In this level, you will surely learn a lot of things on your own. You probably won't need me.

Things to do:


Fell off something? Cry a lot.
Parents scolding you? Cry a lot.
Friends not letting you join them? Cry a lot.
You need to find something, probably a toy (some product of human's sorcery). If you find one, beg your mother/father for it. Cry and please them. Make false promises until they give you the toy.
Parents gave you the toy? Be very happy and jump and hug + kiss them.



Teenager Level

You've matured; Well your physical looks did. Creatures like us has no such thing as maturity or immaturity.

Things to do:

Look for a girl, make sure she's "likeable" so that your friends won't tease you. Never look for a girl with a huge amount of width.
Done looking for a girl? I hope you found a beautiful one. Now look at her head, her chin, then down a bit. See that planet? If it's Saturn, then she's the right one. If it's Pluto, find another girl until you find Saturn. Jupiter will be alright though.
Mom kissing you? Reject a little bit and tell her "mom, no need to. :X"
Mom offering help? Reject and say that you can do it alone.
Alternative (for girls) coming soon.

Pre-Old Human
*soon

Old Human
*soon


Bonus:

Sperm Level - You just come to the thing called Body. You need to swim across the river to finally get to the Queen's Castle. You need to prove yourself that you are the strongest that can enter the Queen's Castle. In your journey, you will meet other people who also want to enter the Queen's Castle. In this body, there's only 2 choices, Die or Continue.



History of Updates
V1.0- HTBAH Release
V1.1- Child level added, minor edits
V1.2- Added "bonus"
V1.3- Added Teen Level

iSkyDoesGTC
11-09-2015, 09:51 AM
Baby Level

This is it, rookie. The first stage of humanity. In this level, humans are 0-3 years old.
Things to do:


If you are coming out of something and there's blood, you're probably coming out from the mother's stomach. Cry a lot if you're experiencing this.
Once you go out of that crazy thing, keep on crying until a certain time. Probably when a human wearing white clothes wipes something off you.
You're going to be placed somewhere. Probably a box, the humans call it an "incubator".
When you're in the incubator, it is now your decision whether you'll cry or not. Keep in mind that while you're on this level, your frequency of crying should be high.
Days later, you'll be in a place and that place is a bit noisy and small. Humans call it a car.
Once you get out of the car, you'll probably in a house. While you're in there and you cry, the mother/father might think that you need a white liquid called milk. Be prepared for that.
Okay rookie! Good luck with being a human baby!



Child

soon


Teenager

*soon

Pre-Old Human
*soon

Old Human
*soon
:crazy: Thanks for the guide :crazy:
99866

ambiguster
11-09-2015, 09:53 AM
U should just made thsi guide at wikihow.com,

Because your guide is just so absurd/funny :D

Indicative
11-09-2015, 09:53 AM
Sperm Level - You just come to the thing called Body. You need to swim across the river to finally get to the Queen's Castle. You need to prove yourself that you are the strongest that can enter the Queen's Castle. In your journey, you will meet other people who also want to enter the Queen's Castle. In this body, there's only 2 choices, Die or Continue.

Aunos
11-09-2015, 09:57 AM
Teach me your ways...

Updated
11-09-2015, 10:03 AM
Sperm Level - You just come to the thing called Body. You need to swim across the river to finally get to the Queen's Castle. You need to prove yourself that you are the strongest that can enter the Queen's Castle. In your journey, you will meet other people who also want to enter the Queen's Castle. In this body, there's only 2 choices, Die or Continue.

You're really smart, senpai.

Indicative
11-09-2015, 10:11 AM
You're really smart, senpai.

Senpai is indeed smart.

SpeedFreakz
11-09-2015, 10:11 AM
Inside out :rolleyes:

WAQKY
11-09-2015, 11:43 AM
Inside out :rolleyes:

Outside in. :whistling::rolleyes::whistling:

SpeedFreakz
11-09-2015, 11:53 AM
Outside in. :whistling::rolleyes::whistling:

Coming out :cool:

Updated
11-09-2015, 01:20 PM
THIS IS HOW TO BE A HUMAN
NOT HOW TO MAKE A HUMAN


(then you just repeat push and pulling until you feel that feeling)

WAQKY
11-09-2015, 01:27 PM
Coming out :cool:

Should we edit our replies to be more... uhm... appropriate? lolz

Indicative
11-09-2015, 01:32 PM
THIS IS HOW TO BE A HUMAN
NOT HOW TO MAKE A HUMAN


(then you just repeat push and pulling until you feel that feeling)

Wait.. where are we? I thought we're moving further, I meant from sperm to zygote.

Updated
11-09-2015, 01:39 PM
Oh gawd u guys are triggering my dirty mind again... I promised to change my attitude already before

Aunos
11-09-2015, 01:39 PM
*thread slowly become R13 then R16 then finally R18*

WAQKY
11-09-2015, 01:39 PM
Wait.. where are we? I thought we're moving further, I meant from sperm to zygote.

Embryo then repeat the cycle... Wait there isn't a cycle.

iSkyDoesGTC
11-10-2015, 12:13 PM
Bump lolllll

Updated
11-10-2015, 12:17 PM
completely forgot about this thread lol

WAQKY
11-10-2015, 12:18 PM
Bump lolllll

Omg stahp bumping...

iSkyDoesGTC
11-10-2015, 12:22 PM
Omg stahp bumping...

Sorry lol, i only bumped those interesting threads.

WAQKY
11-10-2015, 12:27 PM
Sorry lol, i only bumped those interesting threads.

You think this is interesting? me too shhhh

Updated
11-10-2015, 12:31 PM
updated.............

iSkyDoesGTC
11-10-2015, 12:33 PM
updated.............

The teenager level is flawed... Why doesn't it also say look for a guy cuz a girl might be the one reading this k.

Edit
I hurried lol

WAQKY
11-10-2015, 12:38 PM
updated.............

Mountain-ish thing? Bruh.

I understand, lol.

Updated
11-10-2015, 12:42 PM
Mountain-ish thing? Bruh.

I understand, lol.

should i make it harder to understand xd:crazy:

WAQKY
11-10-2015, 01:24 PM
should i make it harder to understand xd:crazy:

Do it = Probably no infraction

Try to find random nouns and adjectives from your dictionary others probably wouldn't know.

Updated
11-10-2015, 01:33 PM
Do it = Probably no infraction

Try to find random nouns and adjectives from your dictionary others probably wouldn't know.

done lololollolo

iNarwhal
11-10-2015, 01:34 PM
I think I did something wrong.

I ended up with my finger in a blender.

WAQKY
11-10-2015, 01:47 PM
Updated, don't forget mood swings... Tons.

Tech
11-10-2015, 10:40 PM
Embryo then repeat the cycle... Wait there isn't a cycle.

How about if I eat the embroyo?

iSkyDoesGTC
11-13-2015, 12:05 PM
I think I did something wrong.

I ended up with my finger in a blender.

I'll help you with it!
Steps:
1.Read it more carefully
2.???
3.PROFIT!!!

ianCSzz
11-13-2015, 12:17 PM
Teen level (girls alternative) :

Be prepared for "the end of the sentence".

Calvin Klein
11-13-2015, 12:23 PM
great guide imma bookmark this tnx

Aunos
11-13-2015, 12:25 PM
This is far one of the most weirdest guides ever. IM LOVIN IT.

Updated
11-13-2015, 12:33 PM
guys im too lazy to type D: