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View Full Version : Check out my book?



Goob
11-28-2015, 06:22 PM
So I'm writing a book, or i guess you could call it a fan fiction of the Hunger Games. If you have a chance could someone looked over it, it is on Wattpad. I will add the link below. Though note this is a mature content book, so if you can't handle it please don't read it. Thank you your time and some feedback would be nice as I am still writing chapters.

https://www.wattpad.com/story/55415107-my-district-is-in-the-games

SCOOBYDOOFAN
11-28-2015, 06:26 PM
I'll check it out in a little. I quite enjoy Hunger Game fan fiction, it is something different.

SCOOBYDOOFAN
11-28-2015, 08:08 PM
I read it. I actually quite liked it. My only suggestion is to show and not tell. You seem to be saying "I did this, I did that," try to explain the situation.

Goob
11-29-2015, 04:28 AM
I read it. I actually quite liked it. My only suggestion is to show and not tell. You seem to be saying "I did this, I did that," try to explain the situation.

Thank you for the tip. I will try and show not tell my work instead, hopefully it will make my story better.
Does anyone else want to take a look at it?

JOSHIE63
11-29-2015, 05:27 AM
I…actually, I cannot give the sarcastic "Oh god this is so cringeworthy" response I usually give; it was far from perfect though. The style is eccentric in that it sounds forced. Narration is not always the priority. Apart from that, there were a few solecisms and choppy parts; overall, still decent though. I would encourage you to continue to write — you can only get better.

Goob
11-29-2015, 04:32 PM
I…actually, I cannot give the sarcastic "Oh god this is so cringeworthy" response I usually give; it was far from perfect though. The style is eccentric in that it sounds forced. Narration is not always the priority. Apart from that, there were a few solecisms and choppy parts; overall, still decent though. I would encourage you to continue to write — you can only get better.

Thank you, I will try and go back and fix the choppy areas of the story. It means a lot that you took the time to read it.

Goob
12-03-2015, 11:53 PM
Thank you Joshie and Scooby for reasing my book and those who didn't but still read it but didn't reply. If anyone else has some open time and would like to read some of it, that would be great.