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AirBorned
03-18-2016, 11:47 AM
Fail title... Should be 'Rate a poem I made please'

As I awake from my deep slumber,
The fragrance of the flowers made my stomach rumble,
and the never-ending chirping of the birds made me grumble.
As I gazed out the window,
I was welcomed by the fields of meadow.
Oh! Spring has sprung!

As the sun took it's highest place in the sky,
and the birds flying so freely in the sky.
The waves seem to be dancing,
and the happy kids singing,
like summer was lasting forever!

Everything seemed to have changed,
as the leaves turned from green to orange.
And the leaves start to fall,
animals start to call,
as they are finding food to store up for winter.

As the weather gets cooler and colder,
pieces of crystal snowflakes begin to form,
and then descend to the earth.
Some animals would start to hibernate,
some would have a change in colour,
'till a new season starts!

This is my literature assignment, can anybody guess the topic? Tell me what do you guys think about think poem thanks.

BearFUL
03-18-2016, 12:31 PM
wonderful. 10/10

Devilrule
03-18-2016, 12:35 PM
Nice poem 10/10

Arcyus
03-18-2016, 12:43 PM
The theme is about season, the poem is gud easy to understand and it rhymes hard so 8,5/10

AirBorned
03-18-2016, 12:44 PM
Thanks guys! Nubcyus got the topic right xD

xlightswitch
03-18-2016, 12:53 PM
The waves seem*

- - - Updated - - -

Leaves turning from green to orange*

- - - Updated - - -

Pieces of crystal snowflakes begin to form*

And then descend* to the Earth

- - - Updated - - -

Yeah, I guess that's all that I can spot.

AirBorned
03-18-2016, 12:56 PM
The waves seem*

- - - Updated - - -

Leaves turning from green to orange*

- - - Updated - - -

Pieces of crystal snowflakes begin to form*

And then descend* to the Earth

- - - Updated - - -

Yeah, I guess that's all that I can spot.
Thanks for pointing the errors out.

xxgrowzz
03-18-2016, 01:05 PM
Is the theme season? Also the poem is creative! 8.5/10

xlightswitch
03-18-2016, 01:17 PM
Thanks for pointing the errors out.
no prob

anyway, it's a great poem. i like the context

Aunos
03-18-2016, 01:25 PM
Your teacher would be proud.

SpeedFreakz
03-18-2016, 01:32 PM
I'm trying to ask my mom,
But she didn't noticed me
I'm trying to ask my dad too,
But he didn't noticed me
Seriously, why I have a shameless parents?!?!

Best poem made by me ^^^^^

LeCooolGuy
03-18-2016, 02:20 PM
Good poem about the seasons! :^)

AirBorned
03-18-2016, 03:19 PM
Thanks for the compliments.:) I'm pretty sure there's still room for improvement.

JOSHIE63
03-18-2016, 07:23 PM
I like the rhyming of "sky" and "sky" — reminds me of Kanye.

Also just noticed the tense shift — yes — in mid-sentence. That is some Pac-level stuff.

|ThyLuigi|
03-18-2016, 07:28 PM
Had I written this, winter would end as a metaphor for death, good poem though.

AirBorned
03-19-2016, 04:45 AM
Had I written this, winter would end as a metaphor for death, good poem though.

Hue, I didn't want to make a sad poem

|ThyLuigi|
03-19-2016, 04:50 AM
Hue, I didn't want to make a sad poem

Ay, death can make for an interesting thing to write about.

ambiguster
03-19-2016, 04:53 AM
8/10

Sorry, i dont like Poems about Nature Landscapes.

I like something "when your trying to win a war" poems :eek:

GT_PIJUS
03-19-2016, 06:18 AM
It's nice,m8. 9.5/10 for certain points of the poem. Anyways,nice!

Bengoh10jw
03-19-2016, 06:18 AM
gud p03m b01

iCultist
03-19-2016, 01:49 PM
Nice one. It is beautiful indeed.