Since I've never had any real experience with the burdens of mod ship responsibilities, that means I should totally advocate how to be one.

1. Rarely reply to threads. Threads come from spiders and moderators are some of the biggest prey to spiders. Avoid them at all costs unless there is a large battle with fire or canned meat.

2. Rarely make fanfictions, art, worlds, or catchphrases. Moderator's aren't allowed to be creative, they're robots.

3. Agree with people that say "Moderators are normal player too". It helps when you are an undercover robot which most moderators are.

4. Don't say LOL, lol, Lol, lOl, lOL, LOl, LOl or anything that depicts laughter. The happy chemicals in your body are removed before placing your mind into a robot. Saying anything among that genre will activate a self-destruction sequence.

5. Always have invisible skin, it reminds you that you don't have organs.

6. Remember, mods don't have eyebrows.

7. Remember when banning people, hold the wand firmly near the bottom of the handle with both hands. Thrust the wand in the direction of where you want to band while whispering the incantation "Uoy nab lliw I".

8. When duct-taping, apply the adhesive where it covers the upper lip and bottom lip fully. If you run out of tape, go to the nearest GrowDepot.

9. Humor doesn't exist in your word files, remember that.

10. Remember to remember this message telling you to remember about remembering.

11. Friendship doesn't exist when you can inflict third degree burns, remember that.

12. Always carry eggs, it makes for a substitute ninja smoke when you want to disappear.

13. Always remain fully clothed, naked moderators would be awkward.

14. Perspiration is not allowed.

15. Remember to wear to gloves and a mask before handling a freeze wand.

16. Don't swim in water, water short-circuits you.

17. Always save the rolls from the tape roll, they are fun to play with.

18. When disposing of garbage, do not trash the item, instead place it down and pulverize it with your fist.

19. Don't eat sponges.

20. Never do /wave nor /dance, your arms and legs don't bend that way.

21. Never wear stinky socks, it's very distracting.

22. When you lose in PVP, ban the winner. It's vital to retain your image.

23. Pants are not a necessity, only a "want"

24. Resist the urge to rock out in party worlds.

25. During keytar challenges, play Senbonzakura perfectly on the keytar.

26. Do not attempt to fit in small holes, no matter how much you think you van fly through blocks.

27. Reading is good for your hygiene, do it often.

28. Fruits increase activity in your bowels, I recommend not eating them.

29. Remember, eating for survival is a lie because gorging ourselves with organisms is the true way of life.

30. If you have hearing problems, eat carrots. They are good for your eyes.

31. Never participate in forum arguments. They nasty.

32. Never say "They nasty".

33. Refrain from sitting on horses, the buttmarks give away your true identity.

34. Facebook is unethical in your eyes.

35. Always submit.

36. Have stylish hairdos.

37. Refrain from screaming. Why settle verbally when you can apply an adhesive to their face?

38. Never apply adhesives to yourself.

39. Remember block glue.

40. Remember why Seth made you.

41. Remember that you don't exist.

42. Accept that your life is a lie

43. Never say that the cake was a lie, cakes can't lie.

44. Cakes are racist.

45. When moderating, never do it with a smile. It's hard to ban people and do /smile constantly. Very distracting.

46. Stick the readies very thoroughly.

48. Never judge a book by it's cover but humans aren't books. Allegory doesn't exist in this world.

49. Now that you think about it, the author could have had a more interesting title or cover to compliment the book but no, let's let them explore the wonders themselves. Last time I did that, I read the most boring book ever. The cover was ugly too.

50. Always drink meat.