for funeral quest ranking, my suggestions:

people complain about the smell.
stray cats really like your place.
the mayor visits frequently for lunch.
the hospital adorns you.
retirement homes have blackballed your place.
retirement homes recommend your services.
state inspectors visit frequently.
real estate agents mail you frequently.
the community adorns you.
people mistake your place for the local dump.
your ads are listed in the phone book.
your well respected by the community.